Christians are straight up FREAKS
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
