Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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