What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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