I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
