It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
