Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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