last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
