My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My vagina is officially offended.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
