We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
They have beer where we have blood.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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