Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
