Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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