he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
