8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
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