I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
