Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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