Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize