One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
