Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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