Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
