Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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