my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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