Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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