did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
COCAINE IS GR8
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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