Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
