Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
