It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just found puke in my bra..
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Randomize
