i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Apparently you make a good broom.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
