If i could tip my vagina, i would.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
