Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
