Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Michael Bay diarrhea
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
