he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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