So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The best revenge is premature balding
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
