It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
