bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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