I have demons in me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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