just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
