youre lurking in front of me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
