She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You are the jesus of drinking
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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