i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
