Screwed.edu
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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