Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
