so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
