I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
