too bad you live with your parents still
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
