wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
