after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
