One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
