I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
