If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize