Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
