I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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