you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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