forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
