apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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