i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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