I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
