She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
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she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
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Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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