i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
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