I hate all girls vehemently.
This is not my ceiling
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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