shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
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I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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