OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
