In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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